A Conscious Creator’s Guide to Rekindling Love Without Begging or Bribing (Your Cat)
If you’ve found your way here, chances are you’re wondering: “Can I really get my specific person back?” Maybe it’s an ex you can’t stop thinking about, who currently seems as reachable as a celebrity on a private jet. Maybe it’s someone who pulled away just as things were getting cozy, leaving you more confused than a chameleon in a bag of Skittles. Or perhaps it’s a long-lost love you still feel connected to, even across time and silence, a connection that whispers, “what if?” in the quiet moments.
First, let’s be crystal clear: Yes, it’s absolutely possible. The universe isn’t holding out on you, and your specific person (SP) isn’t hiding under a rock controlled by a gatekeeper.
But – and this is a huge but – it’s not going to happen through begging, pleading, scripting a hundred affirmations while sobbing into your pillow, or obsessively checking your phone every 0.7 seconds hoping for a text that says, “Turns out, I was wrong, let’s elope!” (Though wouldn’t that be a plot twist?).
The path to getting your SP back isn’t about fixing them, chasing them, or “convincing” the universe like you’re haggling at a cosmic flea market. It’s about stepping into the version of you that effortlessly aligns with that loving connection – the version of you that already feels loved and cherished – and letting reality simply respond to your shift.
Think of it like tuning a radio. You’re not trying to force the music to play on the wrong frequency; you’re tuning your dial until you hear the song you want.
Let’s explore how to tune your dial.
Step 1: Accept That You Are the Operant Power (You’re the Boss of You)
Before you do anything else, internalize this truth like it’s your morning coffee and you desperately need the caffeine: You are the creator of your reality.
Neville Goddard taught that nothing comes from the outside – all experience flows from within. What you assume to be true about yourself and your world, what you emotionally accept as your reality, and what you persist in imagining – that’s what shows up on your doorstep.
So, the question is no longer a frantic “How can I get them back? What spell do I need? Do I need a love potion and a montage?” The real question becomes:
- “Who am I being in relation to love and this person?”
- “What version of myself do I identify with – the abandoned, unloved person whose text messages go unanswered, or the chosen, cherished one who is adored?”
Until you shift you, the outer story is going to keep playing the same old tune. It’s like trying to change the reflection in a mirror without changing the face looking into it!
And guess what? That’s incredibly empowering! You don’t need their permission, their acknowledgement, or their sudden change of heart to begin creating something new. The power is right here, within you. No external validation required!
Step 2: Stop Replaying the Old Story (Delete the Director’s Cut)
This is the part most people resist, clinging to their breakup story like a comfort blanket made of emotional nails. But here’s the kicker: this is the absolute game-changer.
If you constantly replay the breakup scene, the ghosting saga, the painful “they said they didn’t love me” line, or the dramatic “they blocked me on everything!” narrative in your mind or, worse, recount it dramatically to anyone who will listen (and some who won’t), you are reactivating the very timeline you want to leave behind. You’re essentially hitting ‘replay’ on a movie you hated the ending of.
Let it go.
Even if the painful events felt true at the time, ask yourself honestly:
- Do I want to be right about how awful it was? (Spoiler: Being right about heartbreak isn’t exactly a party.)
- Or do I want to be free to experience the version of them and the relationship I truly desire?
Your mind will want to argue, “But they really said that! They really left during that awful fight!” Yes, yes, they did. They did that in the reality you were experiencing while operating from your old self-concept and assumptions.
And now? You’re creating something new! That means your inner dialogue must evolve too. You wouldn’t try to build a mansion with the blueprints for a garden shed, right? Stop using the old blueprint for your love life.
Step 3: Identify and Heal the Root Assumption (Find the Skipper in the Code)
Every persistent external pattern, every repeated heartache, has an internal root. It’s like a weed that keeps popping up because you haven’t pulled it out by its roots.
Ask yourself honestly (no judgment here, just curiosity!):
- Did I deep down feel unworthy of deep, consistent love? (Like maybe I was only good enough for the ‘preview’ version of a relationship, not the full feature?)
- Did I secretly expect people I loved to eventually leave? (Because, you know, that’s just what happens, right? Wrong!)
- Was I terrified of being truly vulnerable, putting up walls higher than the Great Wall of China? (Turns out, walls keep love out just as effectively as they keep pain out).
- Did I doubt whether I was truly chosen, feeling like a runner-up instead of the leading role?
These aren’t character flaws to beat yourself up over. They are simply unconscious programs running in the background, like old software you forgot to uninstall.
But if you want your SP back in a new, healthy, loving form – not a recycled, slightly-less-painful version of the old dynamic – you must be willing to rewrite these assumptions. It’s time for a software update!
Affirm and, more importantly, embody these new truths:
- I am worthy of being loved deeply, passionately, and consistently. (Like a favourite song you can listen to on repeat).
- I am safe in love. (My heart is not a fragile vase waiting to be dropped).
- I am always chosen and cherished. (I am the leading role, the first pick, the one they couldn’t live without).
And don’t just robotically repeat these affirmations like you’re trying to summon a spirit. Imagine them, feel them in your bones, live as if they are already the absolute truth of your existence. Because that, my friend, is exactly how assumptions become reality. They aren’t just nice ideas; they are the building blocks.
Step 4: Revise the Past (Give it a Happier Ending)
One of the most potent, and frankly coolest, tools you can use is Neville Goddard’s Revision Technique. It’s like having a time-travelling remote control, but for your memories.
Instead of replaying the heartbreak reel on loop, gripping your popcorn and groaning, you get to rewrite the memory in your imagination.
If the last conversation was a painful train wreck, go back in your mind and revise it. Imagine it ending differently. Imagine them looking into your eyes, holding your hand gently, and saying, with deep sincerity, “I’m so sorry. I never stopped loving you. Let’s start again, properly this time.” Or maybe they said something that instantly healed a wound: “I see you. I cherish you. I choose you.”
Let that version live in you. Dwell on that revised memory until it feels more real than the original painful one.
Revision isn’t denial (like pretending that awkward first date never happened). It’s a conscious choice to stop fuelling the version of reality that no longer serves you. You’re starving the old story and feeding the new one. And the more you dwell in the new, preferred version, the more your outer world must conform. Reality is just catching up to your inner script.
Step 5: See Them as Already Yours (Put Them in the ‘Present’ Box)
Stop seeing your SP as distant, unavailable, or needing to be “won back” like a prize at a carnival. That mindset is like putting up a giant “KEEP OUT” sign on your heart.
Instead, drop into the end state. This is crucial. Forget the messy middle steps of how it will happen. What would it feel like if they were already back in your life, loving you fully and completely?
Close your eyes. Picture a simple, everyday moment where everything is good again. Maybe it’s the two of you laughing over coffee on a lazy Sunday morning. Maybe it’s just holding hands in comfortable silence, the kind that says everything without needing words. Maybe it’s looking into each other’s eyes with absolutely nothing left to fix, just pure presence.
Now, let that version of them – the one who is present, loving, and yours – become the dominant image in your mind. Feel the relief, the joy, the peace of that end state until it becomes familiar – until your nervous system goes, “Ah yes. This is real. This is safe. This is home.”
You don’t need to figure out how they will come back (will they text? Call? Show up with a marching band?). You only need to persist in the inner knowing that they are already with you in the unseen reality, and the physical world is simply playing catch-up, like a slow-motion echo.
Step 6: Detach From the Timeline (Step Away From the Stalking)
This part challenges the ego (that little voice that whispers, “But what if it never happens?!”), but it’s non-negotiable for speedy manifestation.
When you constantly check for signs, obsessively stalk their social media feed like a private investigator, or stress over when it’s going to happen – you’re signalling to the universe (and yourself) that you don’t yet have it. You’re living from a state of lack, not the state of having. It’s like planting a seed and then digging it up every five minutes to see if it’s growing. (Spoiler: It won’t grow well).
Detachment doesn’t mean you suddenly stop wanting them. It simply means you stop waiting for them to validate your reality.
Live your life now. Step into the version of you who is already in love, already secure, already whole, and happy, regardless of their current physical presence. Because, ironically, that’s the magnetic version of you that they (and everyone else!) are drawn to. You become the prize, not the one chasing it.
Let love catch up to you. Let reality do the heavy lifting of rearranging the 3D world. Your job is the inner work – the emotional embodiment, the quiet knowing of “It is done.” Trust that the seed is growing underground, even if you can’t see the sprout yet.
Step 7: Open to Miracles (And Prepare for the Universe’s Sense of Humour)
One of the most beautiful and often amusing things about conscious creation is how unpredictable the how can be – in the best possible way.
Sometimes your SP will come back saying the exact words you imagined them saying (creepy but cool, right?). Other times, they might reach out in an entirely unexpected moment, mention they had a bizarre dream about you, or suddenly feel drawn to reconnect for seemingly “no reason” after months of silence. The universe often has a flair for the dramatic, or sometimes, just a quirky sense of timing.
For instance, I’ve heard stories of SPs texting out of the blue right after the person decided to finally delete their number or running into each other at the most improbable location after years apart. The universe loves a good setup!
Stay open! Don’t get hung up on the exact mechanism. Don’t judge the steps or the timing based on your logical mind’s idea of how it should happen. Sometimes the universe must rearrange ten thousand tiny things behind the scenes – moving people, circumstances, and pigeons – before delivering your desire. Let it do its job!
Because when your inner world is solid, secure, and filled with the knowing of love, the outer world must eventually match. It has no other choice; it’s just reflecting what you’re radiating.
Final Thoughts: You’re Not Waiting – You’re Creating (And Looking Fabulous Doing It)
Bringing your specific person back into your life isn’t about forcing them against their will or manipulating the situation like a puppet master.
It’s about stepping into the self-concept, the inner feeling, which aligns with being loved exactly the way you desire.
That means:
- No more begging the universe like it’s a stingy cosmic vending machine.
- No more acting from a place of fear, loneliness, or desperation (it’s not a good look, trust me).
- No more trying to control the outcome through force, manipulation, or sending icky needy energy their way.
Instead, you soften into trust. You relax into the knowing. You become the version of you who is already chosen. Already enough. Already whole. Already magnetic, drawing love effortlessly like a super-powered love magnet (the good kind, not the creepy kind).
And then? You get to sit back (maybe with that coffee you pictured in Step 5) and watch as reality begins to echo your inner world – not by accident, but by your design. It’s like watching a 3D printer slowly build the object you designed.
A Loving (and Slightly Cheeky) Reminder
You don’t need to chase love. Love isn’t a bus you missed and need to sprint after. You don’t need to earn it like a merit badge.
You are love. You are worthy. You are powerful beyond measure.
The moment you stop focusing on the external “getting them back” frantic energy and start focusing on becoming the version of you who is already loved, cherished, and in the desired relationship – that’s the moment you shift timelines. You step onto the path where that reality is not a possibility, but an inevitability.
So, breathe. Release the tension. Feel the version of you who already has the relationship you want – the joy, the peace, the security.
Live from that state, as much as possible, as often as possible.
Because they’re not truly “gone” from the reality where you are together. They’re just waiting for you… to remember and fully step into who you really are the powerful creator who is already whole, already loved, and already capable of having everything your heart desires.